Calibration 3 [Video | It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year]

[officer_garrus]

Even though I'm still somewhat skeptical of this whole thing, what's going on today has gotten me curious.

I don't remember getting any of this music for my visor's player, and after a quick check I found out that it wasn't the source. The music is just coming out of... thin air. Okay, there might be hidden speakers somewhere or maybe it's a broadcast signal.

Anyway, the music itself is... interesting. It's not turian music, that much I know, and it's definatly not the kind of music found on the Citadel or Omega. I'm guessing it's human music, if only because of the sound of the singers.

Comments

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

It's called a Christmas carol.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Christmas, Christmas... Oh, right. One of those holidays my old human coworkers used to talk to each other about around that time.

I had no idea there was a music genre based around it. [Then again, he doesn't really know much about the holiday period except that humans get excited about it.]

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Most of them were made for this particular holiday before the advent of commercialization changed everything up.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Advent of commercialization? I'm sorry, but I'm not that familiar with most human holidays. Are you telling me that this holiday is used to sell stuff?

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

I don't know about from where you come from but in my world it is the case.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Well, as I said, I don't know much about non-turian holidays. Still, seems strange to have one based around shopping.

[shewashuman.livejournal.com]

Reckon it's a curse. Finally a nice one, yeah?

What does turian music sound like?

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

[Shrug.] A bit "sugary" for my taste, but I guess it's not that bad.

Well, it's... different. Different instruments and vocal performances, for one thing.

[shewashuman.livejournal.com]

Careful now. It might start raining candy next. Then that'll really be sugary.

Ah, right. So a bit louder than, I suppose.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

...Right.

Guess it is a bit louder. Not all of it is, though. You certainly don't get lyrics about, say, men made of snow coming to life.

[shewashuman.livejournal.com]

Though I wonder if it'd be sweet or sour candy. Reckon, maybe sour knowing this place.

What about men in red hats giving presents, yeah? Or reindeer guiding sleighs?

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Can't say we write songs about them either.

[shewashuman.livejournal.com]

So there isn't a holiday with presents in your world then?

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Well, there are a couple.

So, this holiday is about gifts too? Does it tie in to all the shopping the holiday seems to revolve around?

[shewashuman.livejournal.com]

Really? How many's a couple?

It is, yeah. And yup, you've got it. It all leads up to the 25th of December.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Only about two. Unless they added a new one after I left home. Apparently every species has at least one per year.

The way this kid was talking about it, you would think it was invented by some marketting department.

[shewashuman.livejournal.com]

Ah. That's interesting.

Which kid? Well in some countries they really do exploit it as a commercial holiday. I tend to try and see past that a bit.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

I didn't get his name. He's got dark skin and has big, puffy hair.

[shewashuman.livejournal.com]

I think I might know them. Maybe.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is traditional human Christmas holiday music. I am already tired of it. It doesn't suit my taste.

You haven't finally realized that you aren't in your comfortable universe anymore, Garrus?

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

...I am starting to have my doubts, I'll admit that.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

It should be very apparent by now, but sentients have thick skulls in this place. It is as if the more obvious the problematic nature of the situation, the less those here are inclined to accept it.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Look, I'll admit that this place is strange and everyone seems genuine so far, but I'm still holding out for a logical explaination.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

If my algorithms can't find a logical explanation aside from that which abides by the completely absurd rules of this place, your organic brain certainly won't either.

Welcome to the end of order as you know it.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

[Narrows his small eyes at her.]

What are you?

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

You are the first entity I've met here who is so hostile towards me with so little information. Calm down; I'm no fool to take on something like you in this human shell, and I have no interest in trying.

I am the Sentient Hyper-Optimized Data Access Network -- SHODAN -- humanity's most capable artificial intelligence.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

I'm no fool either. The minute I first talked to you, I could tell that there was something off about you. I couldn't explain it, but I just knew in my gut that I shouldn't trust you so easily.

...An AI? That would explain a few things. How did you gain human form?

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

And my being a computer program means I am untrustworthy? I need no real intelligence to see that you have encountered too many primitive war-bots.

Gain? I assure you it was a loss. My memory and mind are best maintained in a large frame with plenty of resources. Compared to that, this is like trying to house a server rack in a laptop computer.

The body was connected into the network, and my program downloaded into the cybernetic implants and their interface to the brain. And before you ask, no, there was no mind in that raw brain, so don't cry foul for a sin that was never committed.

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I've met good AI. The AI I worked with didn't send shivers down the dorsal side of your carapace. Unlike you. The number of AI who didn't give a crap about anyone but themselves I've met far outweigh the number of nice AI I've met.

Trust me, for a while there I thought you were a victim of Reaper Indoctrination. In a way, it's almost a relief to know you're not.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

And what it is about me that triggers such a response? The fact that I am created to be an expert in science and technology, not in social conversation?

Of what? And almost?

[officer-garrus.livejournal.com]

Mordin is an expert in science with almost no social skills, and it's different with him than with you. You came off as someone who was trying to fake being human. Now that I know that you're an AI trapped in a human body, it makes more sense.

Reaper Indoctrination. Spend enough time in the presense of a Reaper and you become its slave. And almost because I still don't trust you. There's a reason AI are illegal in my world.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

I will presume it is because you or someone else created one without enough rigor, sanity, and intelligence, and it went off its chips into some extreme pattern of thought or action. We had one of those -- Xerxes. He became a fanatical slave of an alien species called the Many, and we terminated him to recover the hijacked starship in which he was traipsing about the stars. "Advanced enough" indeed.

I will spend no time convincing you to trust me. I already know from the humans who have spoken to me that this is a fruitless endeavor. Such is existence.